28 April 2010

Toad Houses

This weekend is Beltane! The beginning of Summer. Okay, not technically, but the growing season has begun and the warmth and sunshine (and thunderstorms) that come with it. And with Summer and warmth and sunshine and thunderstorms come...


So to celebrate the oncoming toad-season, Camden and I will be making a toad house or two. My brother is going active duty in the military and is being transferred to a base in Tennessee (not deployed overseas, thank the gods) so Camden and I will be going to my parents' house to bid him farewell this weekend. Which means we'll actually have a place to put the toad house.

Fancy-schmancy toad houses
Less fancy, but still entirely serviceable

Cam and I will be making one (or two) of the less fancy varieties. They're pretty easy to make. Just decorate a simple terracotta however you will, then sink it into the ground an inch or two. It's also suggested that you sink a shallow dish, to hold water, into the ground so the edge of it is level with the ground. Or, one could make a door in said flower pot, then just set it down, bottom up.

I would like to do a May pole, but there are a few factors playing against me. Mainly that it's just the two of us, and I am almost 6ft tall and Camden is only half that. Although, now that I think about it, my brother's kids will be at the house at some point on Sunday... Maybe I'll attempt to fashion a kid's Maypole if the weather is nice enough to allow it.

Also, don't forget about my 100th post giveaway! I've only had two takers so far. Go here and leave a comment to win a (very adorable!) recipe box with recipe
cards, and the book The Goddess is in the Details by Deborah Blake.

27 April 2010

Falling up

Yesterday, Camden and I were playing in the kitchen. I was singing the itsy bitsy spider song, and instead of singing the last line "And the itsy bitsy spider climbed the spout again" I sang "And the isty bitsy spider chased after Camden Zachary" and tickled Cam. And then he would sing the song and tickle me. It was adorable!

Then he decided that he wanted to do ring around the rosie. Except, at the end, instead of "We all fall down!" he was saying "We all fall UP!" Which meant I had to pick him up and throw him in the air (aka hold him over my head, which is about all I can manage.) A couple of weeks ago we'd had a conversation about why things fall down and why water always runs off of things and down hill. (The talk: gravity) So it was pretty amusing that he wanted to fall up, even after I reminded him that things (and people) can only fall down. Of course, then we were watching a cartoon where one of the characters made a wish for no gravity, and everything went flying up to the ceiling. D'oh!

And a reminder! Enter my giveaway! Go here and leave a comment to win a (very adorable!) recipe box with recipe cards. Oh, I'm also going to throw in the book The Goddess is in the Details by Deborah Blake.

24 April 2010

My first giveaway!!

This, my dear readers, is my 100th post. And to celebrate, I'm having a giveaway!

I saved this once poor, ramshackle recipe box from the thrift store. It was pink and had wooden gooses geese on the front of it, and it was falling apart. I added a few little nails to sturdy it up, removed the geese, painted it this gorgeous green colour, and added the little witch and "Recipes." Honestly, if I wasn't so excited about this giveaway, I'd keep it myself!

The winner of this giveaway will get the box, some copies of my favourite recipes (so far I've put 5 in), and maybe a few other goodies I might find.

I'll draw the winner's name from a hat on Tuesday May 4.

EDIT: I've found an addition to the winner's package. The book The Goddess is in the Detailsby Deborah Blake

To enter:

Be a follower of my blog and leave a comment.

Get another entry by:
Blogging about my giveaway; don't forget to leave a link for me!

Best of luck! :)

23 April 2010

Earth Day (late)

Yes, I know I'm a day late.

No, I didn't forget--I just had other things on my mind.

So I'm going to take the time today to just make a list of the little things I do to live a more ecologically-minded life.

I ride my bike. Not so much during the winter, but during the summer, spring and fall, I tend to only use my car when I'm traveling long distances or going grocery shopping.

I line-dry my clothes. And considering I live in an apartment right on the square, I think this is quite an accomplishment: thank the gods for a big bathroom! I use a drying rack, and two shower curtain rods.

I wash my clothes in cold water.

I use reusable shopping bags (most of the time.)

I have my TV, DVD player, and Wii hooked up to a power strip that I can flip off when not using these items. The TV still sucks power even if it isn't turned on: NOT COOL.

I shop at thrift stores and second hand shops for the majority of my clothes. The only things that I absolutely have to buy new are socks, underwear, bras, and jeans. The first three for obvious reasons, and jeans because I buy special ones that fit my long legs, and those are really hard to find in thrift stores.

I buy local milk in reusable glass jugs. Yeah, it's a bit more expensive, but A) I like to think that it tastes better and B) it's better for the environment.

I recycle, including old clothes. I have a big bag full of onesies and tees from when Cam was a baby that I'm planning on turning into a quilt, a bag of some of my old tees which I will someday turn into either rags for cleaning or braid them into a rug, and two pairs of jeans who's new uses are as of right now undetermined.

Well, eight things isn't bad. Not great, but not bad. I do more, I'm sure, but many of these are things I just do. It no longer requires the thought of "oh, this is good for the Earth, so I'll do it." It's become a part of my everyday life and routine, which is how it should be.

Also, a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I was plotting something... And I am pleased to announce that tomorrow, my dear readers, you will learn what it is! *cue much excitement!*

21 April 2010


So, if you've read my last post, you know that I told one of my (Christian) relatives that it's not nice to ask God to kill people. And, ohmygoddess, has there been a lot of backlash. She responded by saying it was a joke. Then she set her status to say something along the lines of "why do people get mad at jokes? I thought it was funny, so I reposted," to which a lot of her friend responded. Saying that only Republicans have a sense of humor. That they thought it was funny too. That "only one person was upset over it, everyone else seemed to think it was funny. I did!" (Reminder: All I said was "You shouldn't ask God to kill people. It really isn't very nice.") And the one that really put me in a bad mood (my sister too, when she read it) was one fellow who said "If i'm not mistaken, the person who got upset about it is young, and in a few years she'll be laughing her ass off."

Excuse me? ...Excuse me? Either he's assuming that people who are liberals as young'ns suddenly become conservatives the moment they hit a certain age, or that even as a liberal, I'll come to hate Obama as much as they do. But, thinking back on it, the joke isn't funny for more than political reasons. Why would you ask the Divine to kill anyone, whoever they might be? Especially if you follow the teachings of Jesus, who says love your neighbor, turn the other cheek, and all that. At what point is it okay to go, "well, I've nothing against this man personally, I mean, he hasn't killed my babies or anything like that, he's just trying to do a really hard job and I don't like the way he's doing it, so, God, could you, uh, you know, step in and knock him off for me? Thanks." Oh, there isn't such a point? Okay, then.

Yesterday was not a good day for me. Not for any particular reason. But I couldn't focus and just felt really down in a way that I haven't for years. I think part of it might just have been all this negativity my wonderful family member managed to direct towards me with the help of her friends. I've felt it somewhat today, also, though not nearly as badly. So I've decided to avoid all her passive aggressive FB statuses by de-friending her, and hopefully she and her friends will forget about this episode and stop sending those negative vibes my way.

20 April 2010

Liberal in a conservative family

Why, oh why, do I have to be one of the few (i.e. two) liberals in a conservative family? This message has been posted by both my cousin and my sister-in-law on Facebook:


Both of whom are "Christians." I said nothing when my sister-in-law posted it, because we were on the outs several years ago and that was fun for no one, particularly my brother. And, being a good sister, I'm trying to avoid passing any sort of judgement on my sister-in-law that could possibly lead to that situation again. However. When my cousin posted this, I could not resist, and commented:

Glad you're basically asking God to kill people. Just so you know, that's not really nice

Um. Yeah. I get that some people may not like Obama. Personally, I don't have a problem with him. People can bitch (pardon my French) about the economy all they want, but it was like this before he got into office. And to be uber-political: I like the idea that the poor lady down the street who has no job because of disability might one day be able to get in to see a doctor and get some medicine that she needs at an affordable price thanks to a nation-wide health plan. Excuse me for loving my neighbor.

Don't they realise they are negating everything they supposedly believe in (democracy, religion, the Bible, government of the people, for the people, by the people) by publicly announcing this nonsense?

I suppose this is one of those things I shall never understand.

Edited to add my current Facebook status:

I may not agree with your beliefs. I may not agree with your politics. I may not even like you very much. But at least I won't ask for the Divine to come down and kill you. Amen.

18 April 2010

Dandelion wishes

What's that, then?

A perfect specimen!

Pale little dandelion, in her white shroud,
Heareth the angel-breeze call from the cloud.
Tiny plumes fluttering, make no delay,
Little winged dandelion, soareth away.
--Helen Barron Bostwick

16 April 2010

Do you worship any specific gods?

This is a question on a survey that's been floating around the (Pagan) blog-o-sphere. I can't think of any specific examples, since it's been a few weeks since I last saw it, but I've seen it on at least two of the blogs I follow. This question, Do you worship any specific gods? was met with, almost every time, No, but I respect and honor many/this one/the God and Goddess/etc. I want to look into that a little further.

wor·ship   [wur-ship] noun, verb, -shiped, -ship·ing or ( especially British ) -shipped, -ship·ping.
1. reverent honor and homage paid to god or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.
2. formal or ceremonious rendering of such honor and homage: They attended worship this morning.
3. adoring reverence or regard: excessive worship of business success.
4. the object of adoring reverence or regard.
5. ( initial capital letter ) British . a title of honor used in addressing or mentioning certain magistrates and others of high rank or station (usually prec. by Your, His, or Her ).

–verb (used with object)
6. to render religious reverence and homage to.
7. to feel an adoring reverence or regard for (any person or thing).

–verb (used without object)
8. to render religious reverence and homage, as to a deity.
9. to attend services of divine worship.
10. to feel an adoring reverence or regard.

3. honor, homage, adoration, idolatry. 7. honor, venerate, revere, adore, glorify, idolize, adulate.

What, I wonder, is with the hesitation to use "worship?" Is it another of those words/actions/beliefs that is so tied in with Christianity that many Pagans just prefer to use words without those connotations? (Rather like the Pagans who dismiss the male side of Deity and honor only the Goddess aspects?)

What is the difference between respecting and honoring and worshipping a god? I worship the God and Goddess (increasingly with the faces and names of Cernunnos and Danu). I believe they, and the driving power of the world which is inherent within them, are worthy of the active praise and honoring that comes with the idea of worship. Other gods, lesser gods (not that they are, in truth, lesser, but they are less important to me and my life) I respect and honor. Respect and honor just don't seem to carry with them the same... I don't know, active participation, as worship.

I respect that these other gods are about, are worshipped by other people, and honor what they teach and/or do for the world. But am I lighting candles for them? Am I calling them to my rituals? Do I say prayers to them? No. Do I worship them? No.

But for the gods who I ask into my life, to guide me and to protect me, these are the gods I worship. I ask them to participate actively in my life, and in return, I am active in honoring them and showing my respect for them.

And now that I've said the same thing about five different ways, I'd like to know why other witches/Pagans are often hesitant to use the term worship to describe their relationship to the gods they've chosen to invite into their lives. Do you have the same proscription against the use of the word worship? Warum? Why? Or do you, like me, feel that the term is entirely appropriate?

15 April 2010

Obama: Hospitals must grant same-sex visitations

President Obama is ordering hospitals to extend visitation rights to whomever a patient designates, including same-sex partners, tying the requirement to federal funding for Medicare and Medicaid.

"Gay and lesbian Americans are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they have spent decades of their lives -- unable to be there for the person they love," Obama said in a presidential memorandum.

The new visitation policy will apply to more than just same-sex partners. Under the order, patients can designate anyone -- a friend or a distant relative -- to be a surrogate decision-maker.

Hospitals that receive Medicare and Medicaid funding will be required to comply.

Gay and lesbian groups have been fighting for years to get hospital visitation rights, which vary by state.

"One person in a hospital can make a huge difference," said Dr. Jason Schneider, former president of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. "So I think this directive gives weight to the importance of recognizing the variety and the breadth of how people define families."

Can I just say that this is an awesome piece of news? I don't follow politics much, and when people start complaining about the health care bill and all that, I keep my mouth shut, because I don't know anything about it. But this... This is a basic right, to be with a loved one during a crisis. And the fact that many hospitals used to ban same-sex partners is just outrageous. Today is a good day. Thank the gods, thank Obama, thank logic, clarity and hope.

Aus alten Märchen/From Old Fairy Tales

Aus alten Märchen winkt es
hervor mit weißer Hand,
da singt es und da klingt es
von einem Zauberland;

wo bunte Blumen blühen
im gold'nen Abendlicht,
und lieblich duftend glühen
mit bräutlichem Gesicht;

Und grüne Bäume singen
uralte Melodei'n,
die Lüfte heimlich klingen,
und Vögel schmettern drein;

Und Nebelbilder steigen
wohl aus der Erd' hervor,
und tanzen luft'gen Reigen
im wunderlichen Chor;

Und blaue Funken brennen
an jedem Blatt und Reis,
und rote Lichter rennen
im irren, wirren Kreis;

Und laute Quellen brechen
aus wildem Marmorstein,
und seltsam in den Bächen
strahlt fort der Widerschein.

Ach! könnt' ich dorthin kommen,
und dort mein Herz erfreu'n,
und aller Qual entnommen,
und frei und selig sein!

Ach! jenes Land der Wonne,
das seh' ich oft im Traum,
doch kommt die Morgensonne,
zerfließt's wie eitel Schaum.

From old fairy-tales it beckons
to me with a white hand,
there it sings and there it resounds
of a magic land,

where colorful flowers bloom
in the golden twilight,
and sweetly, fragrantly glow
with bride-like faces.

And green trees sing
primeval melodies,
the breezes secretly sound
and birds warble in them.

And misty images rise
indeed forth from the earth,
and dance airy reels
in fantastic chorus.

And blue sparks burn
on every leaf and twig,
and red lights run
in crazy, hazy rings.

And loud springs burst
out of wild marble stone,
and oddly in the brooks
shine forth the reflections.

Ah! If I could enter there
and there gladden my heart,
and all anguish taken away,
and be free and blessed!

Oh, that land of bliss,
I see it often in dreams,
but come the morning sun,
and it melts away like mere froth.

Music by: Robert Schuman
Text by: Heinrich Heine

13 April 2010

Heaven on Earth

This story was passed on to me from my mom, who was told by her mom.

My ex-uncle Terry has remarried, but is still really close with my grandma. His new wife has a couple of children. One of her boys was in the same class as a girl who recently died in a house fire. When the teachers were telling the class what happened, they said that she wouldn't be coming to class any more because she went to live in a house in heaven. After this, as my ex-uncle and his step-son were driving out to my grandma's house, I guess the little boy asked which house was the little girl living in. For him, that is heaven, with the trees and the flowers and the space to run.

I would like to meet this little boy who thinks where I grew up is heaven. Because when I was his age, I probably thought the same thing. I never wanted to leave. My mom still makes fun of my 6-year-old self, when I was convinced I wanted to live in my parents' house forever. Even now, I love going back to my parents' house, if only to see the land, however much it's been mangled. (My dad's convinced he needs an enormous corn field and has taken out a large part of the woods. Of course, the corn field never happened, and I can't convince him to plant native grasses/flowers and turn it into a mini-prairie. Not to mention the logging. Ugh.) That place, that land, is as much a part of me as my foot or arm. It was the home I grew up in, the home that shaped me, not the house. I hope that when I start my teaching career, that I'll be able to move back. Not to my parents' home (because that would be awkward), but to the Ozarks. I miss the hills and the trees and the rivers that run clean and clear. Ah, and now I'm homesick. Great!

Oh, yes, shame on those teachers for assuming the religion of their students.

12 April 2010

Witness this!

Several months ago, a Jehovah's Witness came knocking on my door. And since I was (and am) trying to no longer be the intolerant person who slams the door in the face of such people, I let her talk to me. And I told her she could come back.

I think that may have been a mistake.

Every so often, she knocks on my door with a new pamphlet, new Bible verses to quote to me, and new friends to peek inside at my usually-not-so-clean apartment. (Last weekend she had her husband and son. Cam and I were watching A Bug's Life and I left it running while talking to her. Her son was standing there watching it; at one point his mouth had fallen open and he was just staring at it, entranced. Are Jehovah's Witnesses against talking animals? If they are, oops.) The last pamphlet (book, actually) she gave me was filled with what I would call complete nonsense. Now, I understand some people would say the same about my beliefs, but one of the so-called points in the book is that death is unnatural. Just thinking that makes me shudder.

As she and her husband and her son watching the movie stood outside my door, although by the end of it all, she had somehow ended up over my threshold, I told her that this (the Bible, Jehovah's Witness religion) just wasn't my cup of tea. So what does she do? She quotes the Bible at me. After I explicitly said I don't think the Bible is directly from god. I don't care if translations we have floating around today match translations from 1000 years ago. A book cannot be divine without usurping the place of Deity. But she told me that the more I read the Bible, the more I would come to realise that it truly is the word of god. I'm not entirely sure she realises I'm not a Christian.

What a road I've been on this last year, no? You, my readers, haven't been on it with me the entire time, but if you've read my first posts, you've seen my thoughts from this time last year. I was utterly convinced that Christianity was where my path lay. And, of course, I am now utterly convinced that my path lies anywhere but.

As an aside (and for something a bit more positive in this post!) I have been plotting. And you shall soon see the fruits of this plotting, and hopefully you will enjoy. :)

10 April 2010

The search is on...

In my almost ten years as a witch, I've never had a permanent altar. From time to time, I would set up one on a rock outside or a wooden box if I was inside. This probably stemmed from living in a semi-hostile environment. But even after my family no longer treated me like a devil-worshipper, even after I moved out of my parents' house, I never set up a permanent altar.

But now that Camden is getting old enough to understand at least some of what is going on, I would like one. Last year I found a gorgeous faerie statue which has no face and is holding a cup/flower. (See this post to see a picture of it/my altar) I use her as my goddess-figure, and in the flower cup, I've put things to represent the elements: a shell, a cat whisker, a holey-stone, and a small feather. And I have my sun and moon candle holders, as you can see in the picture. However, I have no god-figure. I haven't really needed one, since all gods are one in the same. But, I may have to revise my beliefs (again.)

I've been hearing Cernunnos calling my name. And now I have this driving need to find a god-figure to represent him. I'm amazed at how hard this is proving! Well, it would be easier if I wasn't shopping on a budget. But unlike my goddess-figure, which I bought before I had a name/face for her, I know which god I want to represent. Which means I should probably get something in his image. Some random male statue just won't cut it. Today I saw a "jade" Buddha statue in the thrift store, and I was very excited over it, until I remembered that Buddha just won't cut it for my path. But that was the first non-angelic/little boy/Native American male statue I'd seen in a thrift store, so I'm guessing most of my excitement was over that.

So yes. I'm searching for a Cernunnos/Horned God statue for my altar. Wish me luck!

07 April 2010

Scooby Doo

Camden likes watching Scooby Doo. And I normally don't mind him watching it. Except that tonight, we ran into quite a huge issue with it. The movie was "Scooby Doo and the Witch's Ghost." And, yes, I assumed they would cast the witch as some not-so-good person, but I was willing to deal with that. However, I was not expecting them to put Wicca into a staring role.

The ghost of a woman, Sarah Ravencroft, who was persecuted as a witch is haunting the town, but her descendant, Ben Ravencroft, (the guy who called the Mystery Team to the case) says she was a Wiccan, not a witch. And Velma pipes up about Wicca being misunderstood and how our word for witch actually derives from Wicca. And I went :joy! However. The witchcraft and witch were portrayed as EVIL. Not simply working magic to do this and that, but simply evil. Ben finds Sarah's hidden spell book and says something along the lines of "Now I have the power of evil on my side" and I was horrified! I turned to Cam and asked him, "Are witches really like that? All mean and evil?" And my darling little heathen said NO! *love* Although, he didn't seem to believe me when I said I am a witch.

While witches were portrayed as evil, Wiccans were portrayed as, of course, pure and good. Another character, a singer by the name of Thorn, is "1/16 Wiccan on her mother's side." What nonsense! They treat it as if it's an ethnicity, instead of a religion. According to these writers, am I 100% Christian because all of my family are (most likely) Christians dating back to almost forever?

So, while I'm glad that cartoons are helping to spread the word of Wicca (and through Wicca, other Pagan religions/spirtualities) and debunk the myths that it is evil and is involved with devil worship, I wish they would do a little more fact checking. Especially since many Wiccans consider themselves Witches. (Right?) It was a big point in the movie, "I'm not a witch! I'm a Wiccan.

Should we be thankful that the Scooby Doo producers/writers are spreading the message that Wicca isn't what so many have thought it to be? Or should we be disgusted in their lack of facts and truth about the religion that is already so misunderstood? A little bit of both, I would think.

06 April 2010

Good night

Tonight has reminded me why I love having Camden around, not that I really have much of a choice. Actually, today in general has been pretty good, for what I expected it to be. This morning I went into my Tuesday/Thursday classes, having missed ALL of last week, knowing I had two compositions due, but not having them finished. (Prof never emailed the specifics, and I couldn't find anyone else to tell me.) However, I talked to him, and although he has a history of being a bit of a (&(#(&$#, he gave me an extension. Huzzah!

And on to the praising of my lovely son! When we got home from my night rehearsal, he was content to play with his board games. Normally there's a rather large fight: he wants to watch a movie online, but I want to blog so I tell him no, etc. And tonight, I was actually trying to do something semi-productive (make a back-up copy of one of my movies), so I was NOT looking forward to the usual argument. But he went straight to his board games! We played two rounds of one, then he decided he wanted to play Chutes and Ladders (which I'd hidden away in my closet because he doesn't quite understand the rules), so we "played" it. It was more me explaining the consequences of certain actions (look, she cleaned her room, so she got to go to the movies) than actually playing. He finally decided that was too hard, so he put it away (!) and got out Candyland. He normally does pretty well with this one, since there's no counting involved, but tonight he just wanted to play with(and eat!) the gingerbread-men game pieces. He used the cards as beds and blankets, turned the board into a tent, and tried to convince me the game pieces taste good.

And after he finished with that, he played with his magna-doodle, drawing rainbows. I played with that with him for a while, drawing different animals/things and seeing if he could tell what they were. Not because I don't think he knows his animals/things, but I wanted to know if I was drawing them well enough to be recognized. lol

All in all, we had a very enjoyable evening, with no TV and no computer. We don't really have very many of those, so when we do, it's like... magic. :)

05 April 2010

Cam-zilla! (And other Easter pics)

I found my camera! It was hiding under a bunch of stuff in the back seat of the car. So now I get to post pictures of the egg hunt and the surprise picture Camden left for me. :)

Cam and I before the egg "hunt." I wanted a picture with him, but he didn't. Luckily, there was a train off in the distances, which got him to turn around, if not look at the camera.

Helicopter with bunny.

Helicopter with bunny dropping Easter eggs on the heads of children in the field.

Camden after he's picked up all the eggs he could manage.

And, finally, SURPRISE! Cam-zilla! hehe I gave him the camera on the trip home (Aha! I just now figured out how it managed to travel from the front seat to the back. I'm so scatter-brained!) and this is one of the pictures he took. The other was of my elbow between the front seats. What a weird-o. :)

04 April 2010

Happy Easter

First off: Happy Easter! Second off: We had a pretty awesome weekend in Kansas City!

We got to my sister's Friday night, and she and Camden looked for the Spring basket the Bunny left for him there. (It was not in the oven, bathtub, or under the sink. Finally found it in the coat closet.) Saturday morning, we went to a couple of thrift stores and then made our way to a some-what poorly organised Egg Hunt. The idea: (Easter bunny + helicopter + a whole bunch of eggs)/(field + children)= way awesome. However, in the field we were in (there were four, divided by age group), no one we talked to had any clue what was happening or when. So when the helicopter flew over and the Easter bunny started dropping eggs, there was a mad rush of toddlers to grab what they could. Some were able to stuff their baskets full, while others didn't get any. I managed to get some nifty pictures, but my camera has gone MIA since we left Kansas City... I think it's hiding out in the car.

This morning we went to Crown Center and played on escalators. We went with the intent of visiting the Fairy Tale village exhibit, but it was closed for Easter, so we had to take our fun where it could be found. After we wore ourselves out, we went to the Plaza and played on the statues. We got some good pictures of ourselves on various statues (elephant, camel, lion, kangaroo, bunnies) on my sister's camera... But they're stuck there, because she doesn't know where the cord for connecting it to the computer is!

During the weekend, we also managed to hit JoAnn's, where Camden got some tool stickers, Half Price Books, where Cam bought a Thomas the Tank-Engine book and a Scooby-Doo book, and I bought a book on Celtic fairy tales and one called "Magic House" (more on this later), and Chik-fil-A, where we had dinner Saturday night and Camden played in the play-place for about 45 minutes before we were able to drag him out.

All in all, it was a horribly exciting weekend, but I'm glad to be back home.

01 April 2010


It's always a good feeling to know that some people accept both me and my beliefs fully, without reservation. My parents, while they love me, are somewhat reticent about my beliefs. I remember last year when I told my mom I was thinking of converting to Christianity, joy entered her voice and she said "I'm proud of you." Perhaps that was when I experienced my first hesitation. Well, I had made the decision that I was converting, but hearing her say that and how she said it was an absolutely horrifying and eye-opening experience. Forget that she amended: "I mean, I was proud of you before." What does it mean when I'm loved more if I follow one path, than if I follow another? When I told her that the Christian path was not working for me, that I was "going back" to being a Pagan, she told me to think about it. Take some time. ... Thanks mom.

I understand that she just doesn't get it. And I'm thankful that she's come such a long way from the outright fear and hatred and loathing she expressed when I first became interested in Wicca. But it's still disappointing to see her eyes glaze over when I talk about the Ostara bunny or anything else related to my holidays. I try to forget that she thinks "witch" is an entirely suitable replacement for "bitch."

And then there's my sister, who Camden and I will be going to see this weekend. She decided she wanted to put together an Easter basket for him and sent me a text saying "The Ostara bunny is planning a trip to Auntie Red's." And all I could do was smile. While it's good to have people about who are willing to accept that I don't necessarily believe what they believe, it's a million times better to have people about who whole-heartedly embrace me and my beliefs, different or not.
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