where i've been and where i'm going

I haven't been anywhere. Especially here at the blog. It would be nice if I could say "Oh, I was SOOOO busy doing homework, I just had no time to blog." But that's not true, as my newest addiction to Pinterest would show. So, truthfully... I've been thinking about my life and going "it's not THAT interesting, so why blog about it?" Really. A lot of my life feels like it's the same thing day in and day out. How many posts can I make about the hilarious stuff that comes out of Cam's mouth? Too many, probably.

I've been thinking about the point of having this blog, too. I started it as a way to work out my spirituality (and get some feedback on it), but my spirituality has changed since I started this blog over two years ago. Hell, it's changed since last year, since the spring, since the summer. I've lost a lot of my religious trappings, and have settled into a fairly laissez-faire spirituality. What I believe is too personal/individual to be called a religion, I think.

When I changed my blog from Witch at Church to One Witch's Story, it was so I could write about my life, which included spiritual beliefs. And my story is changing, I guess. I have self-diagnosed myself with Celiac disease, on the basis of a high incidence of gallbladder disease (my gallbladder was FULL of stones when I was 18 and started developing problems. Had it removed 5 years ago next week) and gluten allergies and a statistically relevant incidence of kidney stones (had a few stones in my right kidney, which were taken care of surgically two years ago, still have one hanging out in my left kidney) and gluten allergies.

So I'm going on a gluten-free diet. A grain free diet, really, because I'm planning on starting the Primal diet near the end of this month (no grains, no legumes, no refined sugar, limited dairy.) And of course, I'm dragging Camden along for the ride. I'm taking him to the doctor next week so he can be tested for gluten allergies/intolerance. For myself, I'm doing the self-test (day 2 and going strong!) where I cut it out for a few weeks, then reintroduce it to see how I feel. I can't do that with Cam, though, because his daycare provides meals and won't let the kids bring in their own food... Which means that feeding him gluten free stuff at home then having him get it at school REALLY defeats the purpose. But if I can get the test (hopefully) saying that he had allergies or an intolerance, the school will provide the gluten free food (or let me pack his breakfast/lunch/snack, I'm not sure). Woo-hoo. Wish us luck for a positive, will you?

Also, I got everything in for grad school. My application was sent to the review board yesterday, so I'm playing the waiting game to hear back. I'm deathly nervous, but I'm trying not to think about it too much. Everything will work out in the end, I'm sure.

Back? I hope so

The last couple of months have seen my life turned on its head. And not in a good way! I feel as though I lost a part myself this last semester. Or maybe I didn't lose it: maybe that part ran off until things get better. While I don't want to use this time or space to whine about my life, I will say this: it's been the roughest time in my life I've experienced since I was a self-hating teenager. I found it rather amazing, with the addition of so much stress, how easy it was to fall back into those self-loathing and unhappy life patterns. I stopped cooking "good" food. I had almost no time for books. (I've read... two? books since the start of the semester.) Worst, I stopped being a mother to Camden. That was my worst offense. We would get home in the evenings, and I was so exhausted and mentally tired, that I set him down in front of the TV. Every day. Until bedtime.

But thankfully, I've realised this. It took me a while. But this morning, I said to myself (and David, who happened to be there) that I don't like who I've become. My happy-Syd took a vacation and left the person I used to be in her place.

Thankfully, again, the semester is so close to being over, I can taste it. I have one assignment, four finals, and one jury (playing through what I've worked on over the semester in my percussion lessons) left. And that, my friends, seems like nothing. Even just tonight, I feel like the old (new?) me again. I was able to play with Camden without it feeling like a chore. I feel such a sense of relief and release, that it is almost as if I've been holding my breath since August.

So, now I am back. Hopefully to be posting again on a regular basis about the regular variety of topics found on my blog. (If I can even remember what those topics are. haha)

Blog Buttons

Okay, so I just realised, about 10 months into this blog :), that I don't have a place for my readers to leave their buttons! Don't I feel like a slacker? Yes, yes I do. Anyway, that's what this post is for.

If you want your button on my scrolling blogroll over there ------> leave the code in a comment, or a link to where I can find the code. And I'll add your button!

Gardening

Despite the fact that a few short weeks ago I was all sorts of excited about getting a garden plot, I'm now having second thoughts. Mostly along the lines of "will I really have time to take care of it?" I know that if the garden was right next to my house, I would have no trouble with it. Well, no more trouble than gardens usually present. But the farm with the garden plots is at least two miles away from my apartment. If I go there every day, that's using up a lot of gas. It's also quite a way to bike with whatever tools/whatnots I might need.

Do I want my own garden? Yes, I would love to have one or two or three. A vegetable garden, a garden for flowers, and an herb garden.

Does a vegetable garden make sense at this point in time? No, not really. But I'm still continuing with my container gardening.

I've been thrifting quite a bit this week, because there are so many good ones around my parents' house! I've found a few flower pots and containers that will be turned into flower pots. I also have some ideas of what I'll be planting. Camden wants to plant a pumpkin plant because his Grammy killed his. (Oops!) I've also got some columbine, lavender, cockscomb, and catnip seeds to plant. One of these days, when the greenhouses open up, I'll be able to find some more flowers and herbs 'n such.

As a side note... I've redecorated the blog. Spent FOREVER downloading the stuff for it, because it came as a ridiculously huge digi-scrapbooking file with all sorts of goodies. Whatchya think?

Life of Pi and One Witch's Story

Today (and some of yesterday, I guess) I read most ofLife of Pi by Yann Martel, not for the first or even second time. I say I read most of it, because I skimmed parts that I find particularly tedious the fourth or fifth time around. Besides, I knew what I wanted to read. When it first came out, or when it first became popular, it was known as "that book about the kid on a life raft with a tiger!" And that's why I read it. But it is also about zoos, survival, and a boy loving God. The boy, Pi, is Indian, and as such, is Hindu. But during the course of his youth, he is introduced to both Christianity and Islam in a peaceful, calm, and unassuming manor. He accepts both, along with Hinduism, as his Truths. His religions. He does none of what I tried to do with Christianity and Paganism, which is combine them into one religion that espouses the best of both. Instead, he believes in all three of them fully and separately. Something I don't think I could do, honestly.

In one part he asks his mother for a prayer rug and to be baptized, and she tells him he cannot be a Hindu, a Muslim, and a Christian; he must choose one. And he asks about his uncle/friend of the family who is a citizen of both India and France, with two passports. His mother says there is only one nation in the sky; to this, Pi asks, "Then shouldn't all passports be accepted?"

This book is filled with much wisdom. I can see myself in Pi, a young sixteen year old boy from India, in that I see the Truth told in every religion and accept it as valid, even if I myself cannot (or will not) subscribe to more than one.

Another wisdom from this book: words imply invention, and invention implies story.

Isn't telling about something... already something of an invention? Isn't just looking upon this world already something of an invention? ... The world isn't just the way it s. It is how we understand it, no? And in understanding something, we bring something to it, no? Doesn't that make life a story?

And in this quote, I found the inspiration for a new name for my blog. (Even if my "Witch at Church" title has managed to find me a follower or two in the last few days.) In a blog, we tell how we look upon the world. Even in blogs that stick to the facts, invention runs rampant. So what are blogs other than a story, especially blogs such as mine that don't deal entirely with politics, but rather the warp and woof that make up a life. And if life is a story, what is mine other than one witch's story?