living with purpose

First off, happy Solstice! As usual, I've (obviously) failed to manage a holiday post. Luckily, I can keep trying. Camden and I didn't do much to "celebrate," but we did enjoy the summer, although it was fairly cool. He and I talked about the Oak and Holly Kings fighting, and the Holly King winning to lead our march toward Yule (where they'll fight again, with the Oak King as victor). We went to a local nature center to stare at some honey bees (a small inside hive (with a pipe leading outside) made of plexiglass so you can see the bees doing bee things. We also ogled a bull snake that was apparently not hungry, since it wasn't munching on the (live) mouse in its tank. Then we came home and grilled chicken for dinner. All in all, a fun day.

And on to the topic of the hour:

I've known about Transcendentalism since high school or junior high. But I only knew about it in the general sort of way. Last fall, in my AmeriLit class, I actually read the Transcendentalist authors; Whitman, Thoreau, Emerson. And I fell in love. Then, earlier this year, I was introduced to the term simple living, in reference to modern life, as opposed to "back in the day" simplicity. I think that if every one would strive to live simply, the world would be a better place. Less waste, more community. Less stress, more time. Less hate, more love. As a world-wide community (Western/modernized world, anyway), we have a consumerist and materialistic ethic. We want what we want (or what they want us to want), and we want it now. And to help us get this stuff we have to work long hours at jobs we may or may not enjoy. We want our children to want stuff too, so we help them "get ahead" by over-scheduling them.

That's not something I want from my life. I don't want the hectic schedule of work, soccer practice, music lessons, dinner at McDonald's, TV, bed, rinse and repeat. I want my life to be my own. I want my life to belong to me and my family, not to the world at large. A book that I am reading suggested making a purpose statement for one's family. Because part of living simply is living with purpose. And it's hard to live with a purpose that hasn't been defined. My purpose statement? (Rather: my family's purpose statement.)

Enjoy Life; Love Others.

That is the shortened version. Both are basic yet vital to my spiritual and religious beliefs. The (only slightly) lengthier version is:

Enjoy life by
-making our home a place of creativity, love and laughter
-living within our means
-being environmentally conscious
Love others by
-loving (family) unconditionally
-participating in community service
-having faith in god, nature, others, and one's self

I am sure that at some point this will change. Not greatly, maybe just a tweak here or there. But for now, it is enough.

Transcendentalism

I have been very absent. And I have to say: I really miss this blog. Good news, though: the end is in sight! I have three weeks of class left (+1 week of finals) then it is Winter break. Huzzah! I'm hoping that the next few semesters, while busy, will be NOTHING like this semester. In fact, I've kind of insured this, by adding an extra semester to my schedule before I graduate with my BA. (Which, in turn, adds an entire year to my whole schooling schedule.) But honestly, I CANNOT go through another semester like I've just had.

Anyway, I've had a few high points. In the last few weeks, my American Lit class has been reading Emerson and Whitman. And really, all I can say is: LOVE! There are hearts drawn throughout the pages of these writings (Emerson's Self Reliance And Whitman's "Song of Myself"). Reading these, it was impossible NOT to see echoes of my own philosophies, and I've connected to these writings in a way that I rarely experience. (Good news: my convo buddies in the class also connect with the writings, and we had EXCELLENT discussions about them. And the professor noticed and basically said we were awesome. :D)

If you haven't read Emerson or Whitman or Thoreau, I highly suggest it. Don't believe me on the awesomeness level? A few of my favourite quotes from Whitman:

The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.

All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.

I exist as I am, that is enough

Divine am I inside and out, and I make holy whatever I touch or am touch'd from

Why should I wish to see God better than this day?
I see something of God each hour of the twenty-four, and each moment then,
In the faces of men and women I see God, and in my own face in the glass



--heart--

(Photo not mine)

Instructions for Life

I stumbled upon this. I like this.

Spring cleaning

Today I cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned some more. One reason is the spring cleaning bug bit me, I think. I would like to start of the Spring season with a clean apartment. Actually, I'd like to start off *any* season with a clean apartment. Maybe this time the apartment will stay cleaner for longer than four hours? Not likely, but I have hopes!

Another reason for the deep cleaning, other than the fact that it needed to be done, is I'm trying to prepare for moving day in May. Although we're moving from a one bedroom loft to a two bedroom duplex, I don't think the new apartment is actually bigger than my current one, just rearranged differently. Which means there's no way I'm carting all the stuff we have here into the new place. Mainly stuff in the form of clothing and toys. Because, obviously, I need all of my kitchen stuff, despite the fact the new kitchen is about half the size of my current one.

So lots of clothes, toys, and books have been boxed/bagged up for yard sale fodder or donation, or they've been trashed if completely unusable. And thanks to the decluttering, I was able to rearrange the toy corner, so the toys are once again contained and hopefully not spilling out to the rest of the living room. And Camden can reach all of his toys and games without my assistance.

Like anything, it will take work to maintain. I'm hoping I can train teach Camden that picking up his toys is better than leaving them lying about; hopefully, I can convince myself of that, too!

a clean home is a happy home

I have been pretty bummed out lately. Not sure if it's just seasonal depression setting in because I want so badly for it to be Spring/Summer or if I'm just so stressed out by school and life in general. However, this weekend was a turning point for me, I think. I'm not feeling nearly as "woe-is-me," which I think I can credit to a few different sources...

The first is that Cam and I went sledding. Physical activity in winter? What?! Who ever heard of such a thing?! Well, I have to say, that it was fantastic. As a kid I spent almost as much time out-of-doors in the Winter as I did in the warmer months. My brothers and sisters and I would go sledding or play tracking games. Often, I would go adventuring by myself just for the novelty of seeing the woods that I knew so well in a new light, under a blanket of snow. This winter, however, my time spent outside has been limited to running from my car to a building or running from one building to another. I'm glad I finally got the chance to enjoy the winter; I'm glad I finally took the chance to enjoy the winter. And now, while everyone else is cursing this new six(or so) inches of snow, I'm thinking only of the fun Cam and I will have sledding next weekend.


The second is that I cleaned my house Friday afternoon/night and Saturday. Living room, kitchen, and I even ventured into the bedroom a bit. The only room I haven't touched is the bathroom because A)I didn't want to do laundry and B) it's a lost cause, especially if I'm refusing to do laundry. In the living room, I put away the toys, vacuumed, and folded/put away about 5 blankets that Cam's dragged out at some point or another. In the kitchen, I cleaned out the fridge, did dishes, swept/scrubbed the floor, and scrubbed the table. I also rotated the table to make getting to my plants in the window(salads and catnip) a bit easier. And in the bedroom, I had the fun task of figuring out which clothes strewn across the floor were clean and which were dirty. I love how having a clean(er) house can make me feel. I really don't realise how much the clutter and mess can impact my psyche until it's gone. But for now, the apartment is clean.

In a perfect world, I would be a kitchen witch, working magic as I clean... But in this not-so-perfect world I have issues memorizing the words to chants and creating/sticking to simple daily rituals of thanks-giving and praise to the gods. Which brings me to something I found that I'd like to share: A Witch's Ball. It's something I hadn't seen or heard of before, but I like the idea and may have to try it... one of these days.



A Witch's Ball is usually a clear or coloured glass sphere which is hung in the window to ward off evil spirits/negative energy. Or, conversely, it attracts the evil spirits with its pretty colours and traps them. These are hung in the windows, as I've stated, or they can be hung from the ceiling or placed on top of a vase. Traditionally, Witch's Balls are blue or green and made from glass, but can also be made from wood, grass, or twigs.

Another take on the Witch's Ball I found was to fill the ball with magically charged herbs. The suggested balls for this are clear tree ornaments, which are fairly easy to put stuff into. One could also paint the ornaments with corresponding colours and the like. Mayhaps this will be a fun project for Cam and me once we have herbs growing.

On my life

“A butterfly that flaps its wings in China can cause a hurricane in Kansas.”

I don't feel that I'm special. I don't think I'm doing something that is impossible for anyone else. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, sometimes it sucks. But in the last three or four years, so many possibilities have opened up for me that I don't think would have been there otherwise. Also, it doesn't hurt that I enjoy being a mom. :)

I've heard from two separate sources this week that I'm amazing for doing what I do. In the past I've had trouble accepting compliments, and though I still do to some extent, it's much easier now. This, however, I can't help but try to shrug off. I don't think I'm doing anything special; I'm just doing what I have to do. I'm simply refusing to allow the butterfly to dictate every moment of my life. Would they not do the same? They're in college now; if they had a baby right out of high school, could they really not find the will to continue their education? I find it hard to believe.

I'm not doing anything miraculous. I don't have a debilitating disease. I'm not trying to accomplish the impossible. I'm just securing a future for myself, my son, and my future family. Yeah, I have a few more hills and obstacles to climb, but it's not as hard as everyone seems to think it is.

Random notes

Since I am lacking a flash drive (*gasp* I know! The horror), the easiest way to get files from my computer to other computers is to email them to myself. It seems I've been doing this on a regular basis since the semester started in August. Every email I send to myself, I always write a little uplifting tidbit that I know will make me smile. Yes, I know it's cheesy! And, yes, I know that I already know what I said. But it's still nice. I tell myself that I'm beautiful, or wonderful, or I remind myself that I'm going to kick ass at whatever I want to do. It really brightens my day. I just think it's a fun way to incorporate some self-love into my life.

When I was a teenager, I hated myself. I hated my body and my mind. I thought I was fat and ugly. After I had Camden, though, I made a pact with myself to be a better person. I decided to A) love myself, however I was B) find the beauty in others and C) always be honest. Maybe something else, but that was almost three years ago! Of those I've succeeded most at loving myself and finding the beauty in others. I'm still struggling with the being honest. I'm not saying I'm a compulsory liar or anything like that, but it's hard for me to be honest about my feelings to myself and to others. I knowingly shortchange myself.

My "Rules for Life" were based off of my views of Paganism at the time. But they also fit in with my (now) Christian views, too. Love thy neighbor and all that. It really does make life easier, if you actively search for the good/beauty in yourself and in others. It enables you to see past small faults to the person within.

I tell my friends they're beautiful. Sometimes I tell people I don't know very well at all that they're beautiful. Always, they laugh or brush it off as me being odd. But, honestly, they are beautiful, and it saddens me that some people don't see it.