23 October 2009


I am still trying to find my balance between Paganity (because I saw it written like that, and find it hilarious!) and Christianity. Sometimes I feel as though I identify as more of a Pagan, and other times, as more of a Christian. I can't help but wonder if I'll ever find my balance, or if I'll be going from one end to the other. I identify fully as a Christopagan, I just tend to lean more one way than the other from time to time.

Last week I was inexplicably leaning towards the Christian side. This week I'm feeling the Pagan vibrations.

I blame the weather! The last two days have been beautiful fall weather. Cold, but not too cold, and raining! These following a gorgeous Indian Summer, which followed horrid wintery weather. I'm feeling very attuned to the earth and changing seasons, which just feels Witchy.

Mother Moon's views on god are: "sometimes my God is a she; a mother who holds me in her arms and gently sings me to sleep. Sometimes my God is a man; who helps me to see the folly of my ways and lends wisdom to help be once again walk the right path." This speaks very deeply to me. Mother the Comforter; Father the Protector. Is that what I'm feeling? Not necessarily one religion over the other, but the notion of god? Last week I needed a protector to guide me, this week I'm needing a comforter to hold me? I can see that.

So maybe it's not that I'm feeling like more of a Pagan than a Christian at the moment, but that my view of god, at the moment, is based more in my Pagan roots. Which brings up the question, I suppose, of isn't that still feeling more like a Pagan than a Christian. Many people view religion as "If you're this, then you're not that, and if you're that, then you're not this." Perhaps my mind is still in that format, if I'm trying to justify my Witchy tendencies. I have decided that I will label myself Christopagan, but perhaps I haven't decided whether that means a blending of the two, or both of them simultaneously.


  1. like your entry as well as your description of your search for clarity... you sound similiar to me... probably most of us if we really knew it all.... I think it is a continuous journey... to contstantly find new awakenings to help us to find our ways... No matter how silly they may seem...

  2. Psssssst...You won something over on my Blog!

  3. I totally understand how you feel. I go through this often. There are some times that I feel like I need the Father and other times I need the Mother. There are stometimes I feel very christian and others I feel very pagan. Right now I"m very pagan. Mostly because it's Samhain and I'm getting ready for the dark time of the year. Probably around Yule I'll start to feel alittle more christian, just because that's where I was raised. It's interesting to see and feel the back and forth. I don't know if it'll ever change, but I've learned to go with my spiritual flows!

  4. im a pagan who worships mary! so, i know how you feel! sometimes i wonder if deep down i am really a catholic? LOL


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