Dreaming

I feel as though I am living a dream. Not in the sense that my life is working out perfectly and everything is amazing; I feel as though I am drifting. My sense of time is all out of whack. My sense of focus and drive and purpose, also. Is this what happens to people who have nothing to occupy their time? Even when I try to be purposeful about something, it seems to always get pushed aside for something just a bit more whimsical. Why unpack when I could be with friends? Why organise and sort when I could be outside playing ball with Cam. Why blog when I could be reading a book?

Maybe because it's summer. Maybe because classes are over. Maybe because despite the move, this has not been a week for focusing on things outside of myself. (A yellow jacket stung my ankle Sunday morning, and my foot was quite swollen and painful up until last night.)

Tonight is the full moon. I hope that the comfort of ritual will snap me back to myself. Purpose. Drive. Direction.

I'm baack!

My computer has made it home! I picked it up on Monday, but I've been busy moving and haven't had a chance to post, or even get online for much more than a quick email check. However, as of today, I am officially moved in to my new place; I just have the unpleasant job of unpacking and the somewhat more pleasant job of hanging pictures and whatnots on the walls.

Okay, so I had plans for this to be a bit longer, but my mind is wandering. Hopefully I'll have a chance to make a real post tomorrow. Until then. :)

LAZY

Okay, so it's officially summer for me, and let me tell you: I have checked out. Unfortunately I seemed to include the blog in things I was checking out of. Of course, I've also been busy with packing and cleaning (moving next week!) and also with general laziness. And I'm about to be without computer for at least a week. Anyone know a spell to keep a powerjack from going all wonky? (This is about the 4th time I've had to have it fixed)

In the less mundane and every day news, a day or two ago, a friend gave me a deck of Gilded Tarot cards and a companion book. We were talking about tarot readings, and I had said that I've done a few, but I didn't really know what I was doing. And the next thing I know, he's handing me a deck and this book. How neat! So I'll be spending my week or so without computer (and internets) learning me some tarot. Well, it will probably take longer than that, but at least I'll be able to make some good headway.

Just a quote

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice -- that is, until we have stopped saying ''It got lost,'' and say, ''I lost it.'' - Sidney J. Harris

Yardsale!

Hi, my name is Sydnii, and I'm a yardsale addict.

And I just so happened to come across a HUGE one yesterday. It was actually more of a rummage sale, but that's only if you're being nit-picky. I'm glad I stopped by. I found two flower pots (because I really needed some /sarcasm), a skirt, a cute summer dress, some candle plates, a book for Camden, and an audio book for Camden when he's a bit older (it would be awesome if I could find the print version for him, too.)

And, why, exactly, am I blogging about the yardsale I found? Well, because it was sponsored by a pro-life group. And I am vehemently pro-choice. So from the time I heard about the sale (about Wednesday night thanks to a local Yahoo group I'm a member of) to the time I actually decided to go, I did a lot of flip-flopping on the decision of whether I should go or not. Because, as woman who believes in having control over her body, wouldn't it be hypocritical of me to give my money to a group who, in general, prefers to disallow women to make their own choices?

No. I don't think so. Because I remembered back to four years ago, when I *ahem* made the choice to be a mother. During my pregnancy, I went to a pregnancy support center once a week to take "pregnancy/parenting" classes. I got points for various things, usually "homework," which I got to then spend in their store area, which had baby clothes, blankets, maternity clothes, etc. It was really an invaluable resource for me during that time. And after I had Camden, I often donated his old clothes to the center. The support center was very pro-life. And yet they still helped me, if only because I chose to be a mother.

I like to imagine that the money I spent at this yard sale is going to a center like the one I went to. One that helps girls and women who have no idea what to do with themselves, one that gives shelter to teenagers who have made mistakes that their parents can't or won't accept. And I can only hope to the gods that my money is not going to help fund a group that stoops to murdering doctors who perform abortions.

Observations

In my quest to be a music teacher, I have to jump through a few hoops for the university. One of these hoops is doing 55 hours of observation. 10 in elementary, 10 in middle school, 10 in high school, 10 in special education, and 15 where ever I choose to spend them. Considering that I switched to an education major near the end of the last winter semester and I have to have all 55 hours completed before I take my clinical experiences course (next spring), I was a little worried I wouldn't get it done. Most people have from their freshman year onward to get it done. I have less than a year.

But after this week, I only have about 14 hours left, 10 of which will include my high school observation hours. I've spent the last four days observing different middle school music classes (rock history, choir, band, and general music) as well as the special education program at that middle school. It was exhausting! And also fulfilling. I did very little actual teaching (because I wasn't there to do that) although I did point some of the percussionists in the right direction (because they were having issues playing cymbals, triangle, bass drum... pretty much everything) and I got to conduct the 8th grade band while the band director filled in on the tuba part. Despite that (doing very little teaching) I got a chance to see what I could possibly be doing in two year's time. And that is awesome.

A Little Knot Magic for Lost Things

I don't normally do spells. Perhaps that's an odd thing for a witch to admit, but there it is. I just don't usually have any reason. If I'm worried about my grades, I study, if I'm worried about making money, I start looking for a job. Sometimes magic is useful to get a witch into that mindset, but usually, I don't need it.

Until I lose something.

I lose things all the time. And generally find them in the damnedest places. Once I lost my television remote for more than a week, only to find it in plain site on top of the TV stand. *grumble* Tomorrow, I'm taking Camden to the circus and I want to take pictures. But my camera battery was low, so I was looking for the charger. Could. Not. Find it. Despite the fact that a few weeks ago it had been floating around on my living room floor. (Yes, I live in a messy and cluttered apartment. Bad me.) I looked *everywhere* in my apartment for this thing. And finally decided to do something I rarely do: a spell. And more than that, it was knot magic.

A little knot magic for lost things
Cut a piece of string or cording (I used white cotton yarn because it's what I had handy) to a length of about 12 inches. Some people get really technical with the 9 inches or 13 inches. However, I just snip snipped. ^_^

Throughout the rest of the spell, visualize finding your lost object and what you'll be using it for (why you want to find it.)

In the middle of the cord, tie a knot, reciting,

What was lost, shall be found.
With this knot, it is bound.

Tie a knot on one end while reciting the couplet again.

And a third knot on the other end, again reciting the couplet.

Tie the cord loosely around your wrist until you happen to find what you're looking for.

Once you find your object, remove the cord. Then do something with it. Some people suggest burning it, others suggest keeping it. Right now, mine is hanging out with my goddess-figure on my altar.


I ended up finding the battery charger about 20 minutes after I performed this little impromptu spell. In the back seat of my car, hiding under some papers. Go figure.

Happy knotting!

It's Mother's Day, of course, of course!

I hope all the mothers out there (and non-mothers, too, of course!) had a spectacular day. I got a potted flower from Camden (he had help from his Grammy) and did absolutely nothing! Okay, not entirely true, I did dishes and cleaned up the kitchen a bit. I also thought about going out to chinese for dinner, but decided I wasn't nearly hungry enough and it would have been a waste of monies. So instead I had left over BBQ pulled pork. And made Camden scrambled eggs and toast.

All in all, it was a pretty spectacular day filled with a whole lotta nothing.

Happy day!

And the (new) winner is...

Since Antitwilightsang was unable to accept the prize, I've drawn another name...

*drum roll*

Leathra! So, same story as my last post: email your address 'n such to sydnii[at]gmail[dot]com and I'll get your package sent off soonish!

Pagan-Friendly Children's Books

Now that my Tuesday nights are free and we are no longer running helter skelter from sunup to sundown, I've started taking Camden to the library once a week. And while the public library here in the 'Ville is pretty small, it has a large enough children's section. Plus it has games and puzzles and puppets (oh my!) to play with, even though we can't check them out. But we can check out books, and we do! We've been averaging about 7 or 8 books a week, so far. Of course, we read them all the first night and then they're old for the next six days, until Tuesday rolls around again.



Tuesday night we went to a BBQ with some friends, so although we went to the library, we didn't have a chance to read through all the books. (Darn.) But! We got to read through them last night! Camden picks out most of the books, usually randomly pulling them off the shelves and saying "I want this one" or some facsimile thereof. One of the books he picked out is called Hoodwinked by Arthur Howard and is about a witch (gasp!) who is looking for a pet (familiar, perchance?), but since she likes all things creepy, it must be a creepy pet. However, all the pets she tries just don't work out for one reason or another... Until one shows up at her doorstep, one that she's convinced she does not want, until she realises that this is the perfect pet.



As we read this, I started thinking about books for children with a Pagan message. Hoodwinked is a good example of a book that contains a message, if you're looking for a message. I know there are a few books out there geared specifically towards Pagan parents who are raising their children on a Pagan path, but I don't think I'm going to find those books in my public library. The only other book that I can think of off the top of my head which contains a Pagan message (if you're looking for one) is There's No Such Place As Far Away by Richard Bach, in which a person travels with various birds to visit Little Rae on her birthday to give her a present.

What books do you read to your children/grandchildren/nieces/nephews/random kids off the street which contain the subtle coloring of Pagan ideals and beliefs? If they are your children and you're raising them to the path, do you discuss the Pagan slant one could put on the book?

My Beltane

Well, now that things have settled down a bit and my computer is over its viral infection *grumble* I thought I'd let you all in on Cam's and my Beltane activities. Not that we did much, but it was still a pretty exciting day.

When we finally made it to my parents' house on Saturday, the first thing we did was get in my dad's truck and leave to go fishing! And, surprise, surprise, the fish actually let themselves be caught!




We also saw a small herd of not-so-wild and not-so-tame horses. Under the direct supervision of the stallion, we were able to convince one of the mares to let us pet her. Isn't she pretty?



We also made our toad house! Camden was all sorts of excited about it, and ended up taking my mom (Grammy to him) out to the garden to show her when she got home that night, as well as his cousins when they came to visit. We put it and a frog lamp (that may or may not have been stolen from one of Grammy's flowerbeds ^_^) right next to the 'entrance' of my tiny garden.








Camden was trying to walk along the rocks. The building that it's up against used to be a chicken coop, turned playhouse, turned chicken coop, turned hay storages for horse. But now it just plays the part of abandoned shed/wall for the grapevine.

And the winner is...

The winner of my 100th post giveaway is...

Drumroll, please...

Antitwilightsang!

Email your address 'n such to: sydnii[at]gmail[dot]com and I'll get your recipe box and book sent off to you!

Thanks to everyone for playing ^_^

a quote

Okay, so I've been without internets (and my laptop!) since Thursday night. Those cursed viruses, you know. A quick recap of our Beltane weekend: drove to my parents' on Saturday morning, went fishing, played outside, painted the toad house and set it up in my garden, said farewell to my brother who is off to be an active military man.

I also started reading Watership Down, which as I mentioned once before is my favourite book. I hadn't read it in almost a year, and since we got the movie in Netflix, I've really been craving it. How odd that I should crave a book like I sometimes crave chocolate. It's just one of those things that will stay in the back of your mind, diving you to distraction, until you give in. So I'm reading Watership Down, the first of many Summer re-reads. In the course of reading this (fantastic) book, I came across a quote about the moon, which I absolutely love. And while it would probably be more appropriate for around the New or Full Moon, I'm going to be a deviant and post it now. :)

We take daylight for granted. But moonlight is another matter. It is inconstant. The full moon wanes and returns again. Clouds may obscure it to an extent to which they cannot obscure daylight. Water is necessary to us, but a waterfall is not. Where it is to be found it is something extra, a beautiful ornament. We need daylight and to that extent it is utilitarian, but moonlight we do not need. When it comes, it serves no necessity. It transforms. It falls upon the banks and the grass, separating one long blade from another; turning a drift of brown, frosted leaves from a single heap to innumerable flashing fragments; or glimmering lengthways along wet twigs as though light itself were ductile. Its long beams pour, white and sharp, between the trunks of trees, their clarityfading as they recee into the powdery, misty distance of beech woods at night. ... [The moonlight] does not reveal but changes what it covers. And its low intensity--so much lower than that of daylight--makes us conscious that it is something added to the down, to give it, for only a little time, a singular and marvelous quality that we should admire while we can, for soon it will be gone again.

Aside from the fact that I love how this is written, I love what it says about the moon. It does not reveal, but changes what it touches. Who has not been changed by the moon, out of those who allow her rays to touch their spirits.

Don't forget! Enter my giveaway! I'll be drawing the name tomorrow afternoon-ish.