Magic

Over the last few months, I have been working towards being a more of a practicing Witch. I've said in previous posts that "I don't DO magic. I'm a religious Pagan." And, well, that was true. But I've always felt a little... I dunno. Bad about it, I guess. Magic was something I always intended to do, but I always had trouble with visualizing what I needed to visualize or feeling what I was supposed to feel. It always felt like I was just going through the motions of the spell, with none of the power. I couldn't feel or see or comprehend the energy being raised. It's funny, because the spells I cast usually worked. But I felt so incompetent during the casting, that I just decided to lay off. But I'm trying to get back into the habit. I'm trying to make my life magical. :)

I've been thinking about how magic works. How my magic works. I've been doing a bit of study on psionics, or energy manipulation. I can raise energy between my hands (like I'm holding a ball with two hands), but the moment I take one of my hands away, the energy seems to dissipate. (I do this mostly by feel; I can't see the energy structures.) But in general, my magic requires props. Rocks, or bottles, or a twig, or chanting, or a bit of string, or whatever. I guess, I need something to focus on, something through which I can channel the energy/magical intent I raise. And of course, magic through actions, or living with magical intent: rather like a domestic or kitchen witch, but without the fancy title.

Okay, this is scattered... And not particularly well written. I'm just trying to get my thoughts down. Maybe I'll come back and make it more coherent. Or I won't. ^_^