Precognition

I love moments of deja vu; I find them incredibly fascinating. My deja vu moments are always something I have dreamed. The very first I remember was when I was in 5th or 6th grade. I went with a friend of mine and her mom to look at a house. (Maybe they were thinking of buying it, I don't remember) As we walked up the yard, I was struck with the familiarity of the place, and when we stepped into the kitchen, it hit me like a rock. I'd been there before. I dreamed it. I was able to lead them straight to the stairs that I knew led to a loft bedroom with an old-fashioned quilt on the bed. Other times that this has happened, this knowledge of how things will go, was during a track meet in 7th/8th grade, my geometry class in 9th grade, and once with my boyfriend in the last year. These aren't the only times, but for whatever reason, they're the ones that stand out in my mind.

There's always this moment of "I've done this" immediately after which, I say to myself, "Should I deviate from the plan?" I never do, though. I'm always too engrossed with the line "Oh, gods, I know what's going to happen!" running on repeat on my head to actually concentrate on changing what I know will happen. Sadly, these moments only last for 15-20 seconds at most, and I never get anything as fulfilling as winning lottery numbers. Haha! And of course, there's the fact that I never remember having the dream until I am reliving it. Granted, only my repetitive and fantastical dreams (such as being chased by zombies) stick with me for longer than the minute or three it takes me to wake up. Honestly, who wants to remember a dream where one is sitting in geometry or wrapping an ankle on the football field?

(And of course, I get a phone call in the middle of my post... and I am now horribly distracted by a youtube video of an ensemble piece which I'm part of this semester. FYI, I play the same part as the guy just to the right of center! Minimalism rawks) Okay, where was I?

It seems as though my dreamy precognition happened more often and was more detailed when I was younger. In that first instance, with the house, I knew it like it was my own home. I knew that there would be little blue bottles (perfume or some such) in a window, and there were! Now, though, when it does happen, I'm lucky to remember how a conversation will go for ten seconds. The instance with my boyfriend, for example. I was talking to him (face to face or over the phone, I can't remember) and suddenly it hit me that I'd dreamed it. The knowledge of how it would go only lasted for another ten seconds, if that long, after that awareness. Is that because my dream ended at that point, or because I'm just not properly utilizing my skills? Perhaps it's time for me to leave behind the "Oh, gods, I know what he's going to say, how exciting" and begin moving on to "He said this, and then I said that, and it turned out like such... Is that how I want it to turn out, given this opportunity to change the (predetermined?) future?